Grace Enough to Wait

Last year, in the spring and summer, I remember writing such optimistic posts. I was finally settling down in one city. I was finally looking for a full-time job. I finally got a full-time job. I finally got a dog. I was finally becoming a real adult. Things were really great. And, to be honest, things are still pretty great.

Except I’m not where I want to be in my life. I’m not doing what I want to be doing. I’m not working the career I really want. I’m not writing as much as I’d like to be. I’m not exercising. I’m not sleeping. I’m just not there yet. I’m still waiting for real life to be what I expected it to be.

Waiting, crippled by the fear of chasing after something uncertain. The fear of taking huge risks. Essentially, the fear of failure.

I remember when I was little, when asked what my biggest fear was, I would always respond with “failure.” Back then, “failure” meant not making a lot of money. “Failure” meant being poor.

But what I’m starting to learn, as I navigate my way through my twenties trying to find my niche, is that you can make a lot of money and still feel poor. (And no, I’m most certainly not talking about wealth management here. I’m really, really good at that.)

What I’m trying to say, I guess, is that money is losing value to me—which is ironic, considering we live in one of the most expensive metropolitan areas in the country. But I guess it makes sense because money really does have less value here. It doesn’t get you as much. And from spending nearly 10 hours on the Capital Beltway every week, I can absolutely tell you that money does not buy happiness—just Maseratis with angry owners.

And so I wait—wait for that perfect opportunity to take the leap and start doing what I actually want to do.

But a perfect job isn’t going to fix my life. Only Jesus can do that—but not until He returns. For now, we live under grace, and grace is the glue that allows us to stand before the throne, broken, yet beautiful to Him. Worthy.

I am on a journey of giving up control. As much as I want to be in control of my life, I am not. My pride makes me believe that I can be my own master. Oh, how I have been proven wrong!

Yet there is grace enough to get me through these days of waiting. Grace enough to get me through the fear. And grace enough to give me the courage to take the leap when the opportunity presents itself.

Father, let that opportunity be soon.

The lesson you’d do well not to forget

Your life could be the one its wisdom saves

At sea, where you’re beleaguered and beset

On every side by strife of wind and waves

 

Despite the best of maps and the bravest men

For all their mighty names and massive forms

There’ll never be and has never been

A ship or fleet secure against the storms

 

When kings upon the main have clung to pride

And held themselves as masters of the sea

I’ve held them down beneath the crushing tide

Till they have learned that no one masters me

 

But grace can still be found within the gale

With fear and reverence, raise your ragged sail

 Thrice, “Kings Upon the Main”

 

Grace & Such strives to advance Christian growth among women. While we believe the Bible is the inspired Word of God, we also recognize human interpretations are imperfect. Grace & Such encourages our readers to open their Bibles, pray for wisdom and study for themselves what the Word says. For more about who we are, please visit the About Us page.
Natalie Liounis

Natalie Liounis

Natalie is a ginger and a lover of Jesus, Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, cooking, and hockey. Growing up a half hour from Pittsburgh, she has been a diehard Penguins fan as long as she can remember—even when they were terrible! Somehow, though, she fell in love with a Philadelphia Flyers fan, and one day she hopes her future (God-willing!) children choose the right team to support (i.e., the Penguins).

Natalie currently lives in the greater DC area with her husband, Andrew, where she works as a Technical Writer/Editor for a global IT company.
Natalie Liounis

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2 thoughts on “Grace Enough to Wait

  1. Diane

    Raise your flag, girlfriend, cause the weather is always a-changing! What wisdom you are working with, and how wondrous the journey you have ahead knowing that no matter what grace will get you through it!! Keep writing. Keep stepping out even when you fear!

    Reply

  2. Gretchen Hanna

    “grace is the glue that allows us to stand before the throne, broken, yet beautiful to Him. Worthy.” Natalie, I (still) struggle with so many of these things–do I struggle less often now that I’m older? Maybe, or maybe I’ve learned to reframe my struggles in a different light. But the world is still the world, and discontent can run rampant if we allow it. So grateful to hear the hope and wisdom in your words–an encouragement to be sure.

    Reply

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