No Direction Is The Direction

No Direction is the Direction

I have always been a shade envious of those who feel they have heard directly from God, that they have clear direction in their lives, that they have found their next steps, their true calling even.

Clear direction. I have prayed for it, and meditated on it, and fasted for it. But it rarely did anything more than de-fuzz some corners of my vision.

For the past several months, in an effort to find a way through this envy-cycle of mine, I decided to stop trying so hard. I decided to cut down on the I-wanna-hear-from-God whining, and just decided to Be. To Be his. To just Be-long to him.

At first, it was a hard habit to get into. I had to put real effort into praying the usual fears and frustrations and driving ambition away, to put them on hold, keep them at bay. But after awhile, I started to settle into this new way of being. I didn’t ‘feel’ any different. I didn’t ‘hear’ anything. I didn’t ‘know’ the direction I was to go in. But I waited. I sat still. That calm turned into something bigger. After awhile, it became this cushy ball of trust. I just trusted that no matter what – clarity or no clarity – all would be well.

By sitting with him, just waiting, just being with him, I re-learned to trust that he would come through. Not sure how, not sure when, not sure even with what. Just sitting in that trust. It has been – it is – a truly warm and cozy place.

And what he did was A-Mazing.

Here’s the back story…

I have always dreamed of leading a dynamic, different, out-of-the-box ministry to women. Something that filled a real need that needed real filling, that gave instead of took, that inspired instead of mired down. A close friend and I talked often of starting something on our own, but the older I got, and the calmer I got (see above), the less I wanted to try to figure out how to do it. It had become less of the whiny neeeeeed for me, and more of just a passing thought.

So over breakfast one day early this year, my friend and I agreed to give up the idea. That it just wasn’t going to get launched. We were both a little sad, but honesty and reality were on our side, so, still inspired to do something different, we agreed to pray about what that looked like, trusting that God knew.

So after the door closed on our self-created dream, another one opened. The next day – the very next day – I was approached to lead a women’s ministry organization that was in dire need of reenergizing and a woman to take hold of it and just run. Partnered with a national organization, it had little risk and major potential for success in supporting women in their walk of faith. I said ‘yes’ (and then immediately invited my dreamer-friend to come along for the ride).

It was more than I could have hoped for, so much more than I could have done on my own. All of my past experience fits into this need like a kid leather glove. It’s like a jigsaw puzzle that had been missing the center piece, and I was created to fit in that very spot.

And it is all His. God’s mission, God’s purpose, God’s women.

And He is letting me lead it.

The most amazing thing in all of this – even aside from what I get to be involved in – is that I didn’t need it to be at peace. I didn’t have to be given this extraordinary blessing to be ok with not having it. I had peacefully, willingly, laid it down. And that is the key ‘ah-ha’ moment for me. To get to that place of trust that I didn’t have to have my way. That I just wanted to BE-long to him.

Every time I tell this story to anyone, I start to cry. I am overwhelmed with how God knows me, how he knows the desires of my heart. How he knew that I – prideful and self-centered as I can often be – had to lay it all down before he could use me. I had to put my trust just in him. Not in my dream, not in my talent, not to be noticed or applauded, not in my self-directed plan for my life.

But in him alone.

So thankful for this lesson. I pray that I may never forget it.

Amen and amen.

Grace & Such strives to advance Christian growth among women. While we believe the Bible is the inspired Word of God, we also recognize human interpretations are imperfect. Grace & Such encourages our readers to open their Bibles, pray for wisdom and study for themselves what the Word says. For more about who we are, please visit the About Us page.
Diane Karchner

Diane Karchner

Diane Karchner. Christian. Writer. Gardener. Beach Lover. And in no special order – Wife, Mom, Gram, Aunt, Friend, Daughter, Sister, Retiree. Seeking a profoundly simpler faith and sharing that journey through her love of the written word.
Diane Karchner

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12 thoughts on “No Direction Is The Direction

  1. Ruth

    Wow, just wow. Thanks for the beautiful reminded…it’s just Him, that’s all.

    Reply

    1. Diane

      Thanks, Ruth, for saying it true – ‘it’s just Him.’ Thank goodness!

      Reply

  2. Denise

    Isn’t it just like God to let us spin our wheels until we grow extremely weary from doing so? “To get to that place of trust that I didn’t have to have my way. That I just wanted to BE-long to him.” Oh the peace that comes from that humble place of knowing we don’t have to have all the answers. Thank you for this on time message!

    Reply

    1. Diane

      It’s the ‘ahhhhh’ of being a believer. Such a good place, why the heck do we so often wonder from it! Wearying silliness! Thanks, Denise

      Reply

  3. Gretchen

    Thank you, Diane. Such wisdom. Gonna tell my girlies in my young women’s adult group to read this, but I think I may also print it out and give it to them for our last meeting together on Monday.

    In this American culture and in this electronic day and age, and the age of instant gratification for so many of our needs, God remains that still, small voice. He does all the heavy lifting, to be sure; but he will not compete with noise – even if it’s of our own making. What a gentleman! What a good, good, God.

    We are His leaky vessels to be filled by Holy Spirit. When we do our job – sit and wait and BE-long…just look at what He does. I pray I don’t forget this lesson, too. But even more, I give thanks that HS will nudge me in conviction to BE-long again, because He knows that’s my heart’s desire.

    Can you tell this post resonated with me? LOVE your story. His story. xo

    Reply

    1. Diane

      ‘When we do our job…’ sometimes, Gretchen, I should be fired from that job cause I so suck at it! But, man oh man, when we sink into it, it’s such a relieving, soothing place. Thanks, Gretchen! Hope your girls enjoy!

      Reply

  4. Diane Tarantini

    I love this story, Diane!! “I waited. I sat still. That calm turned into something bigger. After awhile, it became this cushy ball of trust. I just trusted that no matter what – clarity or no clarity – all would be well.” I would have been satisfied with you ending there. But the rest of the story is so GREAT! Sometimes I feel led to say YES to a need even though I really want to say NO and the next day the need will go away. It feels like God is saying, “Thanks honey for obeying the leading of the Spirit. Now go relax.” He’s such a great God.
    I would LOVE to hear the details of your opportunity. This sounds really exciting. I’m very happy for you:)

    Reply

    1. Diane

      Diane – thanks, Diane. More details about this coming soon! Pretty dang exciting to be buried in something God orchestrated. Pray for me that I don’t regress and try to do it on my own, as I have a tendency to do so quickly. But…so far, so good.

      Reply

  5. Rebecca Preston

    So happy that God is giving you the desires of your heart!

    Reply

    1. Diane

      Thanks, Becky. Your teaching on taking out the word ‘should’ from my vocabulary certainly helped me with this, more than I can say!!!

      Reply

  6. Tara

    This one’s a printer, meaning one I’ll print for my bulletin board in my home office. 🙂
    Needed this SO much Diane.
    I’m always working toward my next goal (or 10 goals ahead), planning, moving forward.
    It’s so hard for me to be still. Last year I decided to be still for 90 days, to pray, to just be, to not say yes to anything, to empty my mind and let God fill my heart. It nearly killed me. 😉 I wish I had a happy ending to my silent reflection, feeling a bit stuck, however I still believe that I’m on the cusp of something super awesome- in God’s timing.
    Your post reminded of this quote “how lovely the silence of growing things.”
    Now that you’ve piqued our interest, please do share more about what you’re doing.

    Reply

  7. Diane

    Thanks Tara. I so resonate with your comment about being ‘on the cusp of something.’ It’s how I have felt for the last year – that something was just out of my reach, just around the corner. It’s an eery feeling that frustrated the crap out of me. Now I know it was because I was trying to get around that corner on my own strength, rather than his. More to come, I promise!!

    Reply

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