Calm The Heck Down
I feel like I’m always seeking something in my life. Seeking good grades, seeking friendships – mostly things like that. And how’s this for an example? The one thing I’ve been consistent in seeking throughout my life is becoming a wife and a mom. I realize it sounds crazy and I’ve heard everything from “you’re too young to think about that” to “you can do SO much more with your life than just being a mom.” And while these things may be true, the one thing I’ve thought about since I was a kid was being a mom and being a wife. Yes, I know there are many things I can do with my life and I’m a firm believer that women should be able to do whatever they want to do. But there is nothing I want more than to marry the man of my dreams and have a family with him. This is the one thing that I have continuously been passionate about for as long as I can remember.
I’ll be graduating from college next semester. Over the past few months I’ve been trying to figure out what God wants me to do with my life, what His plan is. I see all of these amazing people around me chasing their dreams and going where God is leading them… and I’m just sitting here thinking, “what the heck?” It’s been a tough thing for me to feel stuck while everyone is moving on to great things. I try and try to trust God’s plan for my life, but it’s really hard when you’re a control freak. The thing that keeps popping up in my head are my two favorite verses: Proverbs 19:21 and Romans 8:28.
Many are the plans in a man’s heart, but it is the Lord’s will that prevails. ~ Proverbs 19:21
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, Who have been called according to his purpose. ~ Romans 8:28
Both of these verses speak to me. They tell me to calm the heck down because God’s got a plan for me. I can be seeking all the things in the world, but God is going to put me where He wants me, when He wants me, and not a minute before.
As I sit around, watching many of my friends get engaged or married – the one thing I’ve been seeking throughout my life and knowing it won’t come as soon as I want it to – I find comfort in knowing that God is working for me because I love Him, like Romans 8:28 says. The whole point to this post is that I’m a control freak who has issues with giving up what I’m seeking and letting God take over. I think that has been repetitive in my posts but, if we’re talking about struggles, this is my main one. So if you’re reading this and feeling the same as me, where you struggle to let go and let God, I hope you find peace in Proverbs 19:21 and Romans 8:28 and in the fact that you’re not alone. Seeking things are easy, letting God take over isn’t as easy.
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I can totally identify with your quest. It was mine as well from the time I was little. And now…5 kids, 7 grand kids and yes, two ex husbands….my wanting to be a mom is still at the top if my list as most valuable….by far. It is a high calling…no greater mission…
It’s so hard to be patient isn’t it Katie? Some days I imagine God looking at me churning and spinning my wheels and making my grand plans and shaking his head and laughing thinking “if only she knew what is in store for her, she’d be still and wait. Because it’s going to be amazing.”
Love the verses you shared.
Being patient and trying to see what God has planned for us is SO.STINKIN’.HARD! But when I do actually give up control there’s such a peace in relieving myself of the responsibility. So why don’t I do it more? I don’t know. Thanks for the verses!
Yep. Being still. Seeking His will and still, small voice.
So crazy hard to do over the din of control, comparison, and the self-centeredness (over all of which I struggle). The world can be so noisy, and God is such a gentleman. Love your reminder to Calm the Heck Down, Katie. It’s something I need to do each day, and for that, I’m grateful that His mercies refresh and renew, and man, am I grateful for His patient grace. <3
” It’s been a tough thing for me to feel stuck while everyone is moving on to great things.” I don’t think there is anyone who doesn’t have some moments in their lives – more than just once – when they wonder what their ‘great’ will be. Trusting God to define that, and letting you in it at some point, is the terror and the joy. Hang in, Katie. Sometimes you won’t know what God had planned for your greatness, until after you smack dab in the middle of it!!