Crappy Christian
So when hearing about the topic of mercy for the month of September, I immediately thought of the song Mercy by Duffy (actually, I thought about the version from Glee the T.V. show). Not really a relatable song to Jesus and His mercy. The more I thought about the song, and I mean singing it over and over in my head, there was this one line out of the whole thing that stuck out to me. It’s a simple line in the chorus, “You got me beggin’ you for mercy.” Simple. I feel like I’m always begging God for mercy for the crappy things that I’ve done that make me a crappy Christian.
If you know me well, you know that I have a mouth like a sailor. It is SO unbecoming, unattractive, and doesn’t really shine a light for Christ in any way, but it’s a hard habit for me to break. It came from many years of trying to fit in when I moved to PA, and I thought that it was okay to do it every now and again, but it has now become a habit (which had gotten a little better in High School, but then went downward when I got to college). This is just one of the MANY things that I struggle with that make me feel like a crappy Christian. How can I say some horrible things, yet still shine a light for Christ? How could I lead a Christian sorority last year, when this was something I struggled so hard with? With every cuss word that I spoke, I felt even more horrible about myself and that I was a crappy Christian.
I felt like everyday I was begging God for mercy because of my words. Eventually, one verse stood out to me.
The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. ~ Lamentations 3:22-23 (ESV)
The part that stands out to me is “they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.” The fact that every morning is a new day with God and that He gives me a new chance to better myself is incredible. The fact that He is faithful and that His mercies will NEVER come to an end is even more incredible. We are so lucky to live for a God that continuously loves, adores, and gives us chance after chance, morning after morning, to let us better ourselves. He isn’t all about rules and regulations, He’s about love, faith, and never ending chances to live for him.
I have many struggles that make me feel like a crappy Christian, some big and some small. But the Lord gives me new mercies everyday to get it right. There’s no begging involved. I don’t have to be “beggin’ you for mercy,” I just have to admit what I’ve done and say, “I’ll be better tomorrow,” because in the morning, His mercies are new and a He is faithful.
- Shattered Glass - August 25, 2017
- Rising Tides Raise All Ships - January 19, 2017
- Daughter of a King - December 14, 2016
“…and never ending chances to live for him.” Always and forever God will give us another chance and another and another. You got this, girl!
“I have many struggles that make me feel like a crappy Christian, some big and some small.” Me, too, Baby. Me, too. xoxo
My name is Gretchen, and I’m a crappy Christian,ever grateful for the Lord’s big mercy in and for me. I have struggled with swearing, too. And honestly, as someone who loves language, I tend to not see what all the fuss is about if the most apt word is used at the time. With intention. I know many will disagree, but I really doubt that Paul and Christ sanitized their language when rebuking others (based on what we know of their use of language and the fact that they hung around fishermen and the “lowest” of society), and sometimes, SOMEtimes, a certain word is quite good for emphasis. For me, it comes down to thoughtfulness. Am I using all of my vocabulary, or just some of it? Am I considering my audience, who might be offended and/or looking to me as an example? All that to say, I’m NOT advocating for cussing all the time. In fact having small children cured me of my sailor mouth (mostly). But when the frozen hamburger falls out of the freezer onto your foot, you just might say, “S…!”, and I think God understands. xxxooo