Faith Over Fear

Last month, I underwent surgery to have a benign tumor removed from my lip. Eeeew gross, I know. A few days post-surgery, I found myself gently stuffing mashed potatoes into the corner of my mouth while whining to my husband that “if I knew exactly how much pain this surgery would cause, I would have lived with the stupid tumor.”

Change can be painful, unpredictable and downright scary. How many times have we been smack dab in the middle of a life change and thought to ourselves- OK, I give, this is too hard- I want my old life back?!?

Change can also be a fun adventure. It can be incredibly fulfilling and make our hearts thump with joy.

A few years ago, after rebounding from one of my most trying years battling my neurological illness which is nicknamed the suicide disease, I needed to take a hard look at my beliefs.

If I believed that God was truly in charge of my life, then why did I dread change so much? Why was I so resistant to what He had in store for me? I hated that I was living as a “what if” person letting the fear of the unknown take over my life. It was so contradictory to my faith.

I wanted to become a “why not” person. When God placed a situation in front of me, I wanted to be able to respond with “why not” instead of “what if” and that’s exactly what I set out to do.

It was during that time that I developed a mantra that I still live by today- I choose faith over fear.

I decided to become a yes person. In the words of Leonard Bernstein “I’m no longer quite sure what the question is, but I know that the answer is Yes.”

I am blown away by how this has changed my life.

This is a BIG deal. My extended family calls me a weanie. The phrase was coined during one of our family trips to the Outer Banks, “Tara’s a weanie.” It’s true. I like to live in my own comfort zone, it’s a mighty fine place to be. Stepping out of it makes me feel like I need to go back to bed and pull the covers over my head. What if I fail? What if I’m wrong? What if it hurts?

My first faith over fear moment was the decision to take our family on a mission trip to Guatemala. So many fears… Would our family be safe? Could I handle the physical labor of building a house? Would my neurological illness hold up? Could I trust God enough to go on this adventure?

Upon coming home from Guatemala, I was so pumped up about living in faith over fear that I decided to become a Weight Watchers leader. This is something I had been waffling over for 15 years! I’m terrified of public speaking. What if people didn’t like me? What if they weren’t receptive to what I had to say? What if I messed up? Well, I did mess up. At first I was a dreadful leader, my members lovingly told me so. Visibly nervous, lacking in confidence, yet week by week, I got better.

The changes kept coming. I lost 41 pounds and gained control of my health. I started a wellness blog and God set my soul on fire to help others. My boss asked me if I wanted to try a new role at work and I said YES even though I didn’t think I was good enough.

Here I am a few years later still living in faith over fear, honoring God with my choices, being open to the changes He sees in my life. I just started taking personal training sessions, getting over my self-imposed label that I am not strong, coordinated or athletic enough. Just recently, I began co-leading a weight loss group at my church. I am so incredulous at this journey that started with two words “why not?” A few years ago, I would have never EVER believed that I am here.

Yet I have no doubt that I am here because He was there. Whenever I stumble, feel anxious or get caught up in my fears, I take a deep breath and remind myself that God is cheering me on. He’s got my back. He wants me to step forward in faith. One small change at a time.

Grace & Such strives to advance Christian growth among women. While we believe the Bible is the inspired Word of God, we also recognize human interpretations are imperfect. Grace & Such encourages our readers to open their Bibles, pray for wisdom and study for themselves what the Word says. For more about who we are, please visit the About Us page.
Tara Watson
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  1. Gretchen on October 30, 2015 at 6:23 PM

    Much to chew on here, Tara. Thank you. I choose faith over fear. Yes.

  2. Diane on October 30, 2015 at 8:27 PM

    Tara – thanks for sharing your journey that keeps on! Love that your overcoming was never your final destination. A lot of things to ponder. Thanks!!

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