God is Enough
My God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus. ~Philippians 4:19 {ESV}
That morning I woke early, lying in bed for the first few minutes praying and reflecting on things, on people, on the upcoming day. As I pondered these not-so-deep thoughts, these words popped into my head: ‘sever all, now.’
It didn’t seem to have much to do with anything I had been thinking about, but God does this every so often to get my attention. He never follows my logic. He’s in His own world, right?
Sever all, now.
As often accompanies His little nudges, understanding quickly followed. But just to ensure that I didn’t miss it, He sealed the deal by giving me some of His own written words.
Have nothing to do with…
Familiar words to me. I knew they were the beginning words of a Bible verse, but I wasn’t sure where it was in the Bible. But I knew it was, and that was enough to get me moving. I flipped the light on, grabbed my phone and did a search on those words. This verse popped right up.
Have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness, but rather expose them. ~Ephesians 5:11 {NIV}
That verse was powerful for more reasons than just the fact that God whispered it to me. Although that in itself is ridiculous awesome!
I had been struggling with some folks from my past. Long past. They were believers, but what they called ‘fruit’ seemed a bit confusing to me. Just a week before I had shared this confusion with a spiritual mentor of mine. We jumped into the Bible to investigate and clarity popped out, bringing with it His familiar, unexplainable peace. <sweet sigh>
Although my wrestling had ceased, I was still connected to these folks in social media. I had unfollowed, but had not unfriended them which, for the Facebook-naive, means I can ‘peek at their info’ whenever I want to. And I did from time to time, but never for healthy reasons. Like a voyeur, I wanted to check them out so I could weaponize what I saw into some mix of gossipy prayer and conversational innuendo for no reasons that God would find honorable.
Sever it, now.
So I did.
I thought it was pride that kept me connected. I know they will need my wonderfulness some day, so I will make it easy for them to find me. I am embarrassed to admit that this is the way I think all too often! I will just pray about that, my pride. That seemed completely reasonable.
So the next morning I set out to write about that pride-thing. Generally, the words I type are quite expected as my thoughts take on readable life on the screen.
But this time was different.
After a couple of intro paragraphs, my fingers took on a life of their own and typed these words – I want them to need me. I almost backspaced over them, to erase them, when I suddenly froze. My hands fell to my lap, their mania having ceased.
The truth stared at me from the screen. It stung my eyes. It wounded my heart.
I knew they would need me, the wonderful Diane – that’s pride. A familiar battle.
I want them to need me – that’s something different, surfacing a worldly need that I had no idea was alive in me. It forced me to ask myself the question: Is God enough for me? Evidently not. Not yet. Even after decades as a believer!?
God is enough.
That is truth. God is enough for what? The Bible says He is enough for all.
I need not be needed by any person on earth, although God knows I need community so even that He will provide. But it is not the people that provide, it is God.
God is enough.
That is a fact. But I need more than facts. I need this truth embedded in my heart down as deep as my belief that God loves me.
God is enough.
The owner of riches. The one who will supply my every need. Every, single one.
God is enough.
The one with plenty to go around.
Dear God, thank you for exposing this lie that I had no idea I harbored. You are enough. Your word says so. I believe it. Help me with those bits and pieces of my heart that don’t. ~Amen.
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It’s profound for you to have heard such firm direction, and you stayed tuned in enough to follow through with your part. Pride is almost impossible for us to see, at first, anyway. We protect our egos with those approvals we think we want/need, when Christ’s support, guidance and inspiration are more than enough. I’m glad you have a strong mentor to listen and guide you to God’s word. I’m blessed that way, too. And I really wish we lived closer!
Sarah, I do too!! I love your comment about protecting our egos with the approvals of others. Gosh, ain’t that the truth!!
“I want them to need me.” It is such a strong pull, but in reality they only need God. I did the unfriending of people a couple of years ago, when I realized the same thing. They will not need me, and watching their lives only relives the anger, so better to remove the source of sin. Really good blog!
I hear ya, girl! The anger returns, or the self-righteousness, or the judgmental BS, and I relive as if it just happened. But it is freedom on this side of unfriending, isn’t it?
Thank you for this, Diane!! Zing!!! Oh that ugly root of pride…
Thanks, Ruth!