In my opinion, Januarys are worse than Mondays by a long shot. It is my least favorite time of the year. First, I have mixed emotions about putting away the Christmas stuff. The only way I can think of to describe it is “painfully wonderful”. I’m tired of Christmas, but I’m sad to see it go. Makes no sense, I know.
Secondly, it’s cold and dark. All I really want to do between January and the middle of March is hibernate; eat, sleep, and stay in fuzzy PJ’s until I see the first sign of spring. Then there’s all this talk of resolutions and goal setting. “What’s your New Year’s Resolution?” I have learned to loathe those words because typically, if I’m honest with myself, it should involve dieting and being healthier, neither of which I enjoy. My New Year’s Resolutions usually go something like this: January 1st, “I’m going to (fill in the blank).” January 2nd, “Today, I’m going to be better at (fill in the blank)”. January 3rd, “Why bother, I really didn’t want to (fill in the blank).”
Can I get an Amen? Is it just me or does anyone else feel this way about January?
I can’t remember when I adopted this as my blanket New Year’s Resolution but when asked this is what I say.
“I resolve not to resolve anything.”
And it works. It’s the perfect resolution, at least for me, because it’s one I can keep. On the other hand, if I fail and resolve something, I still feel good about myself.
No expectations. No working so hard to achieve. No pressure.
I’m sort of a control person. Okay. People around me would say I am definitely a control person. I don’t like failing or not meeting my goals. I am proactive versus reactive, a planner, a doer.
But… you can’t plan for uncertainty.
When January rolls around I get this thing in my gut and brain that says new stuff is coming. Stuff I can’t plan for like illnesses, deaths, disappointments, aging body, etc. and stuff like new jobs, unexpected trips, empty nesting, etc. Stuff is coming that I haven’t even thought of yet! How am I supposed to plan for that stuff?
Bad uncertain stuff. Good uncertain stuff.
Uncertain. Maybe deep down that’s why I really don’t like January because it starts off the uncertain. At least, that’s the pattern in my mind. But January passes into February and before you know it, I’m rolling right along through the year.
And it doesn’t hit me until December.
Certain. It’s triggered by the first official snow, the kind that blankets the whole ground. As I sip something hot cradled in a warm mug and look out at the beautiful white snow, I hear quiet. The snow is soft and gentle. It has a special sound. I see white, blankets of white. That’s when I’m reminded God makes things “as white as snow”. I stop. I take stock of the past year. My past. I can almost hear God whisper, “I was certain you would make it through the uncertainty. Did you doubt?”
Yes, I doubted.
I am uncertain.
Immediately the boy’s father exclaimed, “I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!” ~Mark 9:24
God, God will always be Certain.
“I am the Alpha and the Omega” says the Lord God, “who is, and who was, and who is to come, the Almighty. ~Revelation 1:8
God, thank You for always being certain and forgive me of my uncertainty!