This Sunday, in church, the worship band played a beautiful song about trusting God to come through when fear is overwhelming. It’s one of my favorite songs to sing, called “Always” by Kristian Stanfill. The whole song is great, but below is an excerpt to sum it up:
Troubles surround me, chaos abounding
My soul will rest in You
I will not fear the war, I will not fear the storm
My help is on the way, my help is on the way
I always love singing along with this song and am encouraged to trust God even when things are scary. This particular Sunday was different though. I had a difficult time singing along with the words and for most of the song I was silent. Frankly, I just simply felt like a liar as I attempted to sing it.
How could I stand there and sing how I would let go of fear and rest in God after the previous day? The day before I had given into fear in a major way. I simply said to fear, “here’s my day, you’re the boss, take it.” I cowered. I didn’t trust God. I allowed situations from my past to creep in and control my present. I was mean to my husband out of fear and fake nice to everyone else that day. I believed lies. I forgot that just like the song states, “my help was on the way” and that “my soul could rest in him.”
I know it’s about progress and not perfection and that God’s grace is more than enough. But I hope each day I remember more and more… that God is greater than what I fear. Many things have scared me. And with God’s help, I’ve conquered many of them. Many more things still scare me. And with God’s help, I will conquer many more. The goal is not to eliminate fear, but rather to be faithful regardless of the fear.
I pray I choose faith over fear today. Tonight. This hour. One moment at a time, because sometimes, that’s the longest amount of time I can stand to think about being brave.
My help is on the way.