Holy Spirit, you are welcome here.
Come flood this place and fill the atmosphere.
Your glory, God, is what our hearts long for.
To be overcome by your presence, Lord.
Just love that song by Francesca Battistelli, when I listen to it peace just washes over me. Here’s a link to it if you’d like to take a listen.
I have to admit that when I realized the monthly theme was Holy, I thought to myself “I’m not holy enough to write about holy.” That’s the crux of being a perfectionist and a Christian, they do not mix.
For years I let my perfectionism get in the way of growing my faith. Sure I didn’t know I was doing it at the time, but there it was blocking my path to an authentic relationship with Christ. My first road block was thinking that I had to know everything about the Bible before I could get involved in serving at church. I mean seriously, this is what I thought. I know I’m not the only one, please tell me I’m not the only one *she says pleadingly*. The funniest thing is that I even thought this about serving in our children’s ministry. I mean, really? What do those kids know about Jesus? More than you’d think actually. So I didn’t get involved.
My second barrier to growth was thinking that I needed to know everything about the Bible before joining a Bible study. Well…because…what if someone asked me a question and I didn’t know the answer? Or what if we were breaking down a verse and I didn’t understand what it meant? Geesh, that’d be so embarrassing. So I stayed at home.
This led to my third issue, not wanting to hang out with other Christians. Perhaps I’d hung around too many Bible thumpers and they wigged me out, quoting bible verses and such. Who does that? So my social circle remained narrow and sometimes shallow.
I am thankful that my church family didn’t give up on me. I’m even more thankful that God didn’t give up on me. He remained faithful in his pursuit of me, putting circumstances within my reach that made me realize that I can only be perfect in Him, and it won’t be in this lifetime. Slowly I realized that I needed to trust Him to lead and let everything else go. To invite him into my heart and let his Spirit flow.
“Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with that person, and they with me.” Revelations 3:20
Once I realized that God simply wanted to know me (and already knew the state of my heart anyway), it was so much easier to just be me with Him and to just be me with others.
If you’re like I was and you’re feeling just a bit stale or stuck at the moment, maybe it’s as simple as welcoming God into your life and being intentional about the time you spend with Him?
I am so glad that I ended up serving in children’s ministry when my kids were younger. As it turns out, all I needed to do was to show up and show them God’s love. I can do that. I ended up learning so much from those kids, especially watching the freeness in the way they worship, the joy they express in learning and the pureness of their little hearts.
I am ever so thankful that I joined a Bible Study (aka Home Team aka Small Group). I grew so much in that group. Having that time set aside to connect with couples who wanted to know more about Jesus was so important not just to me, but to my spouse and to our entire family. We now have lasting friendships from that group.
Lastly I feel super blessed that I was invited to take part in this blog, Grace & Such. When I was first asked to write I gave great pause. What if wasn’t spiritual enough to take part in a Christian blog? What if people didn’t like what I had to say? What if I interpreted something the wrong way? What if I got writer’s block? Yet I trusted that God would give me the words to write and so far He has.
Sometimes we just need to get out of our own way and let God take the lead and when we do, truly amazing things can happen.
- Broken and Beloved - December 28, 2016
- Seeking With Intention - October 24, 2016
- Beautiful Messes - September 26, 2016
“Sometimes we just need to get out of our own way and let God take the lead and when we do, truly amazing things can happen.” Perfection, lady, just perfection! Thanks
Once I realized that God simply wanted to be with me (knowing every stinking prideful thing about me….)…what grace…beautifully written, thanks, Tara
Tara, you’re not the only one! You’re not the only one!
Although I think as Christians, it’s our job to actually crack open our Bibles 🙂 so that we know what we believe and why, I know exactly what you mean about being intimidated by not being “Christian enough” or “holy enough”.
God is so patient, isn’t He? Over and over I’m learning the lesson that He makes me holy. He allows me to become more like Him, even with all my failings because I’m his kid.
Thank you for this, friend.
“I’m not holy enough to write about holy.” RIGHT?? We get so intimidated by what we’re not, never stopping to realize most everyone else feels the same way. I’m so glad you trusted God with all you mentioned above, including (or maybe especially) writing for G&S!
I love your transparency here, Tara. I think it’s so easy to be spiritually intimidated. My husband and I recently changed home groups and what a refreshing change it’s been. In the new group, everyone is real and honest. We admit when we’re struggling. If we don’t have all the answers, we ask others for help. On about our third time there, I whispered to one of the other ladies, “Oh… so THIS is what community is.” I hope everyone eventually finds a REAL community, one where you can “just be me with others.”