Send That Email Now
I stood in the kitchen; the same place as many times before, by the dining room table, next to the red chair. I experienced the same emotions as before; shame, guilt, frustration because I had to ask the same question I’ve asked so many times before. More times than I care to admit.
I mumble to my husband, “Will you forgive me?” Will you forgive me for being short with you, mean to you and using silence to hurt you?” Ek. It hurts just to type that, but, it is a reality.
I know I don’t deserve his forgiveness. I know he’d rather not have to forgive me for the same thing time and time again. I wish I could completely destroy my negative responses and defense mechanisms. But, here we are, once again. Same spot, same conversation, same situation, same emotions.
Maybe you’ve found yourself in a similar spot. A bad habit you haven’t kicked yet, an addiction that never completely disappears, a sin that always festers you. In our sin, the temptation is to hide, keep it in the dark, not ask for forgiveness. That feels safer, right? More comfortable, less risk. Friends, I urge you to resist this temptation. God tells us in Ephesians 5:13 that what is brought out of the darkness and into the light can become a light. You can be a light for others!
I recently was in a professional environment and I knew as soon as I left the meeting I was not completely honest with my supervisor. Why wasn’t I completely honest you ask? Fear of appearing inferior, inadequate. So I left with guilt and knew I needed forgiveness. I prayed to God and it was on my heart to fill my supervisor in as well. NO, I did NOT want to do that. So, I made a deal with God that if he reminded me next time I saw her, that I would say something to her about it. (ps. every good story starts w/ “I made a deal with God…”)
But, of course, I read a devotional the next day that talked about taking care of things THAT DAY, that moment, not putting them off, not delaying. So, I didn’t think twice, well maybe for a moment or two, whipped out my cell and shot her an email, apologizing for not saying the whole truth.
You know why? The little things matter, a lot. I could have easily kept that hidden, in the dark. But I am so glad I brought it to the light, feels freer. Her email response was kind and the exchange brought us closer. When you sin, instead of allowing it to create shame, use it to create intimacy with others, with God. Create a deeper connection, through the act of confession. I think that is one of the biggest indicators of a healthy relationship, the ability to admit you were wrong, apologize and ask for forgiveness. Do that in your marriage, friendships and work environment. Don’t let things slide. If you have a nudge right now about a particular situation, do not delay. Bring it to the light and become a light!
She is excited to share pieces of her heart with you. She hopes you will enter this journey of authenticity with all of us!
- Cheerfully - September 7, 2016
- Send That Email Now - August 4, 2016
- My Grandfather Is The Man - July 13, 2016
Just last week I messaged an old friend apologizing about something from four years ago–something that wasn’t even a big deal, but it bothered me every time I thought about him. Good to know I’m not the only person who gets these urges. Acting on them really does set you free!
you go girl!! thanks so much for sharing, I get it!:)
“When you sin, instead of allowing it to create shame, use it to create intimacy with others, with God. Create a deeper connection, through the act of confession.”
Yasssss! This is what it’s about! Deepening our relationships w/God & others & walking in truth & grace. Of course, that means that one must lay down pride and exchange it for humility. Argh! I’m learning to lean into the discomfort and do so quicker and better than the day before, but MAN! Sure do need God’s help each time.
preach! 🙂
It seems so much easier to stay in the dark, and it might be. But it is so much more rewarding when we step out on that ledge of faith…easier said than done sometimes! Thx for sharing April. It’s a story all of us have in common!
for real diane, thank you. 🙂
Thanks, April, for that one sentence, “Don’t let things slide.” Boy, isn’t that the truth? I appreciate your honesty about stuff you’ve learned and how us coming clean deepens our relationships.
thanks terri, appreciate you! <3
It’s so easy to just brush our own offenses under the carpet when the offended doesn’t bring them up. You’re really making me think, April!