“You really should change the name of this place,” I told the young care provider when she entered the exam room. “To me, ‘Department of Digestive Diseases’ sounds like death.”
The pretty young woman laughed, then explained the name was changed since so many people couldn’t figure out what “gastroenterology” was.
She turned to my husband to take a brief medical history.
“Any cancer in your family?”
Here we go, I thought, as my pulse quickened. More than a decade ago, his father had passed with stomach cancer. Six years back, his oldest sister lost her valiant fight with pancreatic cancer.
And now his liver enzyme numbers were way high—10 times the normal number.
Granted, they’d always been super elevated. In fact, two physician friends insisted they weren’t worried. Still, when our family physician referred him to a specialist, my mind strayed to a bad place.
What might widowhood look like?
How would I survive without my husband? I still don’t know how to change a flat tire. I never asked him for his computer passwords. If something happened to him, could I run the family business?
Life felt suddenly uncertain.
Since I was unsure about the future, I determined to explore what I was sure of.
My God. I was sure of my God. I wasn’t a lifetime believer like some of my friends, but in 15 years, I’d experienced so much of His love and power.
I know the triune God of the universe loves me. I am absolutely certain of it. He calls me “beloved,” and “the apple of his eye.” And he doesn’t just like me a whole lot, he loves me enough that he died for me.
There is no greater love than to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. ~John 15:13
Not only that, good medical outcome or bad, I wouldn’t have to go through the experience alone. God made a promise in both the Old Testament and the New Testament: that He would never leave me alone.
Be strong and of good courage, do not fear nor be afraid of them; for the Lord your God, He is the One who goes with you. He will not leave you nor forsake you. ~Deuteronomy 31:6
…And be sure of this: I am with you always, even to the end of the age. ~Matthew 28:20b
But what if the worst happens? What if I lose my forever-honey?
If that ever comes to pass, I know it won’t be the end of me. For whatever happens in my life, God will be with me and He will work things out for my benefit. The book of Romans tells me so.
And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God… ~Romans 8:28a
This morning my husband called. The young woman from the Digestive Diseases clinic phoned him with his test results. Everything is fine. There’s no need to worry.
To that I say:
The LORD has done great things for us, and we are filled with joy. ~Psalm 126:3