When You Simply Just Don’t Know

When You Simply Just Don't Know

Your college major, your job, future spouse, number of kids, living location, health status. You just want answers. You desperately want direction and are willing to follow God wherever he leads. You pray. You wait. You talk to wise people. You wait. You research. You wait.

Still. No. Direction. Maybe at this point you’re pulling your hair out, eating everything delicious you can get your hands on, all while going through an existential crisis.

As I sought to figure out my future spouse and certain job transitions, there was a lot of waiting. A ton of unknown. No guarantees and little direction.

Here are some tips that help me when I am desperately waiting for direction.

Make Someone Else’s Day

I remember a time when I was very discouraged and decided I needed to encourage someone else. I knew it would help get my mind off of me and also help make someone else smile. So I left a surprise, affirming poster on a friend’s car. It was the best thing I could have done at that time. I was so excited for her to get it and experience her reaction. It also reminded me of the friendship and support I had. When you are discouraged, find someone to encourage. Buy them coffee. Send them a card. Reach out to see them. Surprise them at work.  Research shows that when we help others, we are also helped.

Do The Next Best Thing

A couple of years ago my bible study leader shared this quote with our group. I loved it because it was simple and brought clarity to confusing times. It reminded me that the goal was not to figure everything out and wrap a bow on it, but instead to figure out the next step. Possibly the next step is doing laundry, picking up the phone to call your mom or starting the non-profit that has been on your heart for years. When we focus on the next best thing, it frees us to take small, faithful steps with God.

Therapy/Mentor/Spiritual Director

Talking to someone you can trust and who has experience walking with people in transition is a game changer. People that take these roles are there to listen, ask insightful questions and guide you in a helpful direction. It’s a prime opportunity to work on heart issues that may be causing some of the desperation. God has used my therapist in unbelievable ways to influence my beliefs and actions. Invite someone along on this journey with you and it will remarkably change the experience.

I am also challenged to remember that I am thankful God doesn’t leave everything on the table figured out for me. If he did, when would I turn to him? Why would I spend time seeking him? How would my intimacy with him develop? We know God is wisdom, so let us choose to seek the ultimate source of wisdom in our times of desperately wanting direction.


Grace & Such strives to advance Christian growth among women. While we believe the Bible is the inspired Word of God, we also recognize human interpretations are imperfect. Grace & Such encourages our readers to open their Bibles, pray for wisdom and study for themselves what the Word says. For more about who we are, please visit the About Us page.
April Jean
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  1. Julie Steele on May 4, 2016 at 7:51 AM

    Wise words. It’s why I declutter and rearrange when I am making decisions. It’s the next best thing and at least calms me down.

    • April on May 10, 2016 at 6:04 AM

      I love that!!! Great idea and makes so much sense! 🙂

  2. Tara on May 4, 2016 at 9:10 AM

    Love the idea of doing the next best thing. I’m on the verge of taking a leap but I want to be sure the reward is worth the risk. Yet we’re never sure when we leap if things are going to pan out as we hoped for. Sometimes the outcome is even better than we imagined and sometimes they are downright crummy. So glad that God is my safety net and even when I take a misstep he is constantly redirecting me back to him.
    PS- Making someone else’s day is one of my go-to’s. It really is a mood booster, for them and in turn for me.

    • April on May 10, 2016 at 6:05 AM

      Totally!!! All the best with your leap… hope you get more and more clarity… and even if not, that you see God at work through your decision. You area great example for others! 🙂

  3. Diane on May 4, 2016 at 9:52 AM

    ‘When you are discouraged, find someone to encourage.’ You speak truth, girl! Get my eyes off myself and seek to do for another – feels like a welcome salve! Thanks

    • April on May 10, 2016 at 6:05 AM

      Thanks Diane!! 🙂

  4. Gretchen on May 5, 2016 at 6:53 PM

    Great, practical advice, April. Thank you for these reminders that when we help others, seek wise counsel, and take the step to the next best thing that God is faithful to guide. Hard for Him to guide, though, if we don’t at lest try to move forward. 😉

    • April on May 10, 2016 at 6:06 AM

      True, thanks Gretchen, appreciate your feedback! 🙂

  5. Jen on May 9, 2016 at 8:58 AM

    I remember a time when I would get sweet little notes of encouragement on my desk at work from someone. 🙂 You always made my day!

    • April on May 10, 2016 at 6:06 AM

      awwww shucks, thanks girl! <3

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